Obama Medical Genius

You know, for being such an educated guy, Baby Doc Obama says a LOT of stupid stuff when the Teleprompter isn’t giving him the cues.  This is especially true when Dear Leader decides to play doctor.

To preface my assertion, I just want to let you know what Dear Leader boasted when it came to his encyclopedic knowledge of the medical profession:

Well, look, let me — let me just — let me address this. You know, health care is really hard. I mean, this is not easy. I’m a reasonably dedicated student to this issue.

Now, consider a recent quote Baby Doc Obama made at a recent(ly staged) town hall:

Well, different states have different rules. So we got kind of a patchwork. I don’t — I confess I don’t know exactly what the rules are here in Colorado. But about 100,000 people die every year from preventable diseases and illnesses in hospitals. Some of the ways that we could solve this are so simple. There’s actually a doctor who’s put together a protocol — washing your hands, a lot of just basic stuff that costs no money — that has been shown repeatedly to cut these preventable illnesses and deaths down drastically — by a magnitude of 50 percent, 75 percent reductions in preventable deaths just by applying these things that don’t cost any money.

Yes.  Doctors not washing their hands has a lot to do with the cracks in our health care system.  And it is observant of our Imperious Leader to point out how doctors can save so many, many lives by simply “washing their hands.”  Recently, taking the Emperor’s cue, surgeons have started washing their hands and using clean, sterile rooms when performing surgeries.  Before this observation, they were usually done in back alleys with stone knives, with whiskey for anesthesia. 

(On a historical note: doctor have been “washing their hands” since the 1800s.  They also wear these things called “latex gloves’ that can be easily disposed op after use.  This way, after a prostate exam, a doctor need not worry about a poo-encrusted finger when picking his or her nose…)

But wait, Dear Leader has more medical insight to bestow upon the witless and corrupt medical profession:

Right now, doctors a lot of times are forced to make decisions based on the fee payment schedule that’s out there. … The doctor may look at the reimbursement system and say to himself, ‘You know what? I make a lot more money if I take this kid’s tonsils out.  Now, that may be the right thing to do, but I’d rather have that doctor making those decisions just based on whether you really need your kid’s tonsils out or whether it might make more sense just to change; maybe they have allergies. Maybe they have something else that would make a difference.

You see, up until now, a tonsillectomy was considered the ONLY way to treat allergies.  Now that Baby Doc Obama has single handedly developed medication to treat allergies, perfectly healthy tonsils no longer need removal by those greedy, shady doctors!  Instead, we can give them a pill!

Predictably, a group of greedy, shrill, shady doctors – also known as the The American Academy of Otolaryngology, Head and Neck Surgery (AAO-HNS) – fired back in an attempt to salvage their sure-fire money-making scheme:

[T]he AAO-HNS is disappointed by the President’s portrayal of the decision making processes by the physicians who perform these surgeries. In many cases, tonsillectomy may be a more effective treatment, and less costly, than prolonged or repeated treatments for an infected throat.

Pfft!  What do these idiots know anyway?

(Another historical note: usually, a tonsillectomy is not the result of an allergy, but of an infection.  Usually, as the organization for the greedy doctors notes, this only occurs after multiple infections.  Sometime, if the infection is localized, it can be cauterized without removing the tonsils.  Of course, the doctors usually charge double for this, being greedy and all…)

Everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma, they end up taking up a hospital bed, it costs, when, if you, they just gave, you gave them treatment early and they got some treatment, and a, a breathalyzer, or inhalator, not a breathalyzer. (crowd laughing) I haven’t had much sleep in the last 48 hours.

It was good of Dear Leader, in all his wisdom, to point out how breathalyzer and inhalator, not inhalers, were a far better way to treat asthma.  And, as we all know, asthmatics have been denied these miracle cures for decades now.  Instead, doctors have been witlessly prescribing steroids and medicinal inhalers, which have NEVER been shown to be effective in the past.

(Yet another historical note: a breathalyzer it traditionally used to field test drivers to see if they are under in influence of alcohol.  An inhalator is obviously a new Obama-inspired device that has yet to reach hospitals.  And even with the correct medications, people with severe asthma often have to seek treatment in an emergency room because, if they have an attack that their medications don’t resolve, they most likely will die.)

Finally, Obama puts to rest the notion that he wants to kill off our elderly population with his health care “reform” package:

What you can’t do — or you can, but you shouldn’t do — is start saying things like, we want to set up death panels to pull the plug on grandma. I mean, come on. (Applause.) I mean, I just — first of all, when you make a comment like that — I just lost my grandmother last year. I know what it’s like to watch somebody you love, who’s aging, deteriorate, and have to struggle with that. So the notion that somehow I ran for public office, or members of Congress are in this so that they can go around pulling the plug on grandma? I mean, when you start making arguments like that, that’s simply dishonest, especially when I hear the arguments coming from members of Congress in the other party who, turns out, sponsored similar provisions.

And then in a previous televised interview, where he took questions from the masses, he said this to a woman whose elderly mother was seeking a pacemaker to correct a problem with her heart.

But what we can do is make sure that at least some of the waste that exists in the system that’s not making anybody’s mom better, that – uh – is loading up on additional tests, or additional drugs that the evidence shows is not necessarily improve care, that at least we can let doctors know, and your mom know, that – you know what – this isn’t gonna help.  Maybe you’re better off not having the surgery, but taking the painkiller.

Obviously, the specialist who approved the surgery to implant the pacemaker for this very, very elderly lady obviously didn’t know what he was doing.  Dear Leader knows far better than the medical profession on how to treat irregular heartbeats.

(Final historical note: all a painkiller would do is cover up any chest pain from angina attacks the woman might have, if she is having any at all.  Pacemakers are used specifically to correct defective or faltering heartbeats, and not to eliminate pain.  While any surgery can be tricky for the very elderly, inserting a pacemaker is considered a minor procedure.  So, in short, giving grandma a pill and telling her to go home is essentially condemning her to death.)

Where would the medical profession be without Obama?

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