Ok, I’ve got the script to a perfect TV ad for the McCain campaign. I was sitting there on the toilet (true story), and it hit me: The perfect John McCain ad! Here’s the script:
Narrator: It’s three AM, and your children are safe and asleep.
Narrator: But there’s a phone in the White House, and it’s ringing…
The camera pans down on a solitary phone in a dark bedroom. The slim silhouette of a man steps up to the phone, picks it up, and puts the receiver to his ear.
Barack Obama: What they’ll say is, “Well it costs too much money,” but you know what? It would cost, about… It — it — it would cost about the same as what we would spend… It… Over the course of 10 years it would cost what it would costs us… (nervous laugh) All right. Okay. We’re going to… It… It would cost us about the same as it would cost for about — hold on one second. I can’t hear myself. But I’m glad you’re fired up, though. I’m glad.
Barack Obama: Everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma, they end up taking up a hospital bed, it costs, when, if you, they just gave, you gave them treatment early and they got some treatment, and a, a breathalyzer, or inhalator, not a breathalyzer. (crowd laughing) I haven’t had much sleep in the last 48 hours.
The camera fades to black.
(long pause ensues).
John McCain: I’m John McCain, and I approved this ad.
Ok, how about one with this clip in it:
Ok…I’m done now.