The Messiah Speaks

Barak Hussein Obama – whom I have now dubbed “The Nazarine” – is quite an adept public speaker.  People rave about his historic his run for the presidency, and how articulate and moving his speeches are.  Take for example his most recent comments on Sarah Palin’s experience:

Well, you know, my understanding is that, uh, Governor Palin’s town of Wasilly [sic] has, uh, 50 employees, uh, uh, we’ve got 2500, uh, in this campaign. I think their budget is maybe $12 million a year. Uh, uh, we havea budget of about three times that just for the month. Uh, so I think that, uh, our ability to manage large systems, uh, and to, uh, execute, uh, I think has been made clear over the last couple of years. Uh, and certainly, in terms of, uh, the legislation that I’vepassed just dealing with this issue post-Katrina, uh, of how we handle emergency management. The fact that, uh, many of my recommendations were adopted and are being put in place, uh, as we speak indicates to extent to which we can provide the kinds of support and good service that the American people expect.

I mean, besides the fact that Sarah Palin is, uh, no longer the Mayor of the city of, uh, Wasila (not “Wasilly”), but the governor of Alaska, uh, and that her state, uh, budget is actually nine-billion dollars, and she, uh, manages more than fifty employees, and, uh, her winters on average are, uh, would be considered, uh, natural disasters, uh, in the lower forty-eight states, uh, Barak Obama would be correct.

That, and, uh, The Nazarine doesn’t actually, uh, manage his campaign’s, uh, finances.  But, I’ll give him a, uh, pass on that.

But let’s have a blast from the past.  Remember his inspirational address detailing his health-care initiatives?

What they’ll say is, “Well it costs too much money,” but you know what? It would cost, about… It — it — it would cost about the same as what we would spend… It… Over the course of 10 years it would cost what it would costs us… (nervous laugh) All right. Okay. We’re going to… It… It would cost us about the same as it would cost for about — hold on one second. I can’t hear myself. But I’m glad you’re fired up, though. I’m glad.

Or how about his prescription for good health when it — it — it comes to kids with asthma:

Everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma, they end up taking up a hospital bed, it costs, when, if you, they just gave, you gave them treatment early and they got some treatment, and a, a breathalyzer, or inhalator, not a breathalyzer. (crowd laughing) I haven’t had much sleep in the last 48 hours.

Now I once had a girlfriend (yes, I know that may be hard to believe) with asthma.  Besides the fact that asthema it — it — it– itself isn’t treated by either a breathalyzer, inhalator, or an inhaler, the condition is typically not managed in an emergency room.  It — it — it is a disease that is treated with medication, normally.  Steroids are typically used, and the inhaler is used to stave-off an asthma attack.

But there are times when the inhaler doesn’t work.  At that point, the asthmatic must go to the emergency room, or they might die.

This happened to my girlfriend (at the time) more than once.  So when The Nazarine speaks about how doctors should treat asthma, they’re presently doing what he claims they are not (nervous laugh).

By the way, an inhalator is an Iron Lung, which differs from an inhaler.  Whenever my girlfriend went to the emergency room, they treated her bad attacks with steroids.

But let’s take a look at The Nazarine’s view of American Society:

But the truth is, is that, our challenge is to get people persuaded that we can make progress when there’s not evidence of that in their daily lives. You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing’s replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not.

Like some of the communities Tony Rezko tried to establish.  Who is The Nazarine’s best friend, again?

And it’s not surprising then they get bitter…

Like preachers saying “God Damn America!”, ala Rev. Wright.  Whose church did The Nazarine attend for some twenty years, again?

…they cling to guns or religion…

Like Black Liberation Theology.

…or antipathy to people who aren’t like them…

Echoed in the attacks on Sarah Palin.

…or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment…

Like taking about punishing oil companies for “windfall profits”.

…as a way to explain their frustrations.

The easiest definition is “liberalism.”

Or his sterling foreign policy initiatives:

Let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel’s. It will be a strong friend of Israel’s under a McCain…administration. It will be a strong friend of Israel’s under an Obama administration. So that policy is not going to change.

I think the message here is, “Israel: you’re on your own.”

Then, there’s his grasp of current events:

In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died — an entire town destroyed.

And through the acknowledgement of the devastation in Kansas, The Nazarine beseeched God to spare all but twelve of the ten-thousand the tornado claimed.  And so it was done: 9988 were restored to life in an instant.  Those unlucky twelve, obviously Republicans who clung bitterly to their guns and religion, were not so favored by the blessed Nazarine.

Now for The Nazarine’s running-mate – the aging metrosexual they call Joe Biden:

Let me introduce to you the next President — the next Vice President of the United States of America, Joe Biden.

Obviously, Joe was brought in for more than just his foreign policy “experience”.

Last but not least, The Nazarine recounts his bloodline:

I had a uncle who was one of the, who was part of the first American troops to go into Auschwitz and liberate the concentration camps…

Auschwitz was liberated by the Red Army (that would be the Soviets) on January 27th, 1945.  Proof, it seems, that Obama is descended from a long line of proud communists.

It explains a lot.

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